


Just the memories left

by larrycaring



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brother-Sister Relationships, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Family, Grief/Mourning, Headcanon, I am so bad with all these terms, I am sorry if this story sucks, I wanted to focus on Sonya instead, I wanted to include some Newtmas, I wrote this when I was sick, Memories, OR SEEN THE MOVIES... THEN DON'T READ, Other, Post-The Death Cure, Recovered Memories, SERIOUSLY IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOKS, Safe Haven, Siblings, Spoilers, The Death Cure, The Death Cure Spoilers, but I ended up not doing it, but Newtmas is life tho, so I am not at the top of my game, so oopssss, spoilers for The Fever Code, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 15:31:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13837710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrycaring/pseuds/larrycaring
Summary: Beware spoilers.She thinks back to that first time she met Newt again. She hadn’t known back then, that this boy with the blonde hair and caring eyes was her family. She was too happy to see Aris again. She had hugged her friend tightly, not even realizing Newt’s eyes were on her, not even realizing her whole world was besides her.





	Just the memories left

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I am back with another fic that is not One Direction/Larry related. Sorry my Larry fellows.
> 
> But hey, Maze Runner fans... I hope you'll enjoy this.
> 
> This fic is basically an alternate version of the ending of The Death Cure movie, but with the fact that Sonya and some of their Group B mates managed to get back their memories while being on route to the Safe Haven. So it happened while Thomas, Newt, Frypan, Brenda and Jorge were rescuing Minho. (Just to clarify: when Sonya and Aris were saved, they did not have their memories.)
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> Title lyrics from the song Grace by Kate Havnevik.
> 
> Also, thank you to the lovely [Ash](https://twitter.com/newtsherondale) for being my beta for this one! :)

Sonya awakens with a start and takes a few seconds to take in her surroundings. When she does, she immediately relaxes into her cot, closing her eyes in relief.

She’s safe.

She takes a couple of deep breaths, telling herself that it is okay, WICKED won’t find them now. Still, it was only yesterday that her and Aris were rescued, and so at any moment she expects a berg to fly over their camp, taking everyone prisoner once more.

She groans lowly, scowling at herself. She shouldn’t start thinking like that. She must stay positive. They’ll make it to a safe haven. Tomorrow they’re taking the boat and they all will be away from WICKED.

It's going to be alright. 

She cannot find sleep again, however. It must be incredibly early though, as the sun is finally setting up in the sky. It isn’t excessively hot but not too cold either and so she decides that taking a walk outside might do her some good.

As soundlessly as possible, she swings her legs over and gets out of her bunk. She looks over her companions, Aris and Harriet still sound asleep, at peace. A soft smile immediately makes its way onto her face. She feels relieved and delighted that they’re reunited, and hopeful for a future where they won’t be separated again. They just need to make it to the Safe Haven, as the Right Arm leader, Vince, promised them.

They can make it. They have to.

Sonya shakes her head. She really should stop thinking so much. A breath of fresh air should calm her down. (Not really, but she could at least still try.)

The sunbeam is more than welcomed on her skin when she steps a foot outside. The light reflects on the abandoned steel metal buildings, and the landscapes is desert-like. Sometimes, she likes to imagine her life before WICKED. She wonders if she lived in a house surrounded by trees and tall grass. Or did she live in apartment? In a city? It’s hard to envision now, especially when there are relatively few urban areas left.

The thought of the last city, WICKED’s base of operations, makes her shudder. All of sudden, her thoughts are somber again.

She shakes her head once more, as if she could get rid of her anxiety and fear just like that. Thus she chooses to walk. She distracts herself with hitting rocks with her feet. She counts of how many of them she sees. When she is tired of doing so, she looks up to the sky. There is no clouds to count. She wonders if when she was little, she used to look at them with her parents, or maybe her siblings, and laugh at the different forms of the clouds.

She supposes she will never know.

Sometimes, she thinks about remembering. She _wants_ to remember. WICKED took everything from her. She cannot recall a life before the Maze, and hence everything else that follows. Did she even have parents? A brother? A sister? A dog? A cat? Was she an annoying stubborn child? Did she like to hear stories before going to bed? Did her mother sing to her? All of this kind of wonders, and so many questions.

And she will probably never know. All she can do is proceed onward and live in the present. Survive.

“I can’t believe him,” a sudden voice says in a huff.

Sonya freezes on the spot, snapping her head towards the direction the voice came from. She’s standing in front of the many ramshackle buildings of the camp. The large door rusting door is ajar, and she is standing so close that she can hear the conversation outside. Not that the persons talking — there are two voices — are being very subtle.

“Bren, honestly, are you surprised,” the second voice answers.

It’s Brenda and Jorge.

Sonya takes a step closer, leaning her head further. She wonders if she used to eavesdrop when she was younger. Did her parents ever scold her? She can’t help it, she wants to know what the fuss is about now, but she doesn’t want to interrupt them in case they don’t want to share. She probably shouldn’t be hearing this. Curiosity killed the cat, but again, she can’t help it.

“No, of course I’m not,” Brenda replies with a laugh. It’s a humorless sound, that Sonya can confirm it without seeing Brenda’s demeanor. The girl sounds marginally angry, or maybe exasperated. “It’s Thomas we’re talking about.”

A brunette boy flashes into Sonya’s mind. Thomas, who has saved her and Aris from that train. Thomas, and his friends, who went through hell and back, as much as Sonya and hers did.

She had talked with Thomas and his friends yesterday. They were discussing the last city, and Sonya remembers the determination in the brunette’s eyes, the plans forming in Newt’s head when he and Thomas exchanged a look. They wanted their friends back. They wanted to save Minho. And Sonya doesn’t know them that much, but she knows that they won’t stop until they do. Not after they were so close to get the Asian boy back. Sonya didn’t know Minho that much, even though they spent six months together in captivity. She sincerely hopes they’ll get him back.

She hopes that everyone does.

“We need to go after them,” Brenda proceeds to tell Jorge, obviously aware of Sonya’s presence outside. “They could use our help.”

“I hear you,” Jorge says, and Sonya is not even surprised how quick the man agrees. He and Brenda seem very close, like father-daughter. It must be nice, to have someone you care about so much. But Sonya feels the same, with Aris and Harriet. They are her family now.

Sonya hears a car door, and at this instant she doesn’t feel like she would intrude if she was to step in. So she does. Two pairs of eyes fall on her, slightly taken aback, but Jorge and Brenda immediately relax when they see her.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Jorge asks her. He looks tired, just like everyone else, but the wrinkles by his eyes hold a genuine kindness.

Sonya folds her arms over her chest, rubbing her arms. She forgot to take her coat. The fresh air outside felt good after waking up feeling so hot, but not anymore.

She shakes her head in response, smiling a bit. Brenda returns it. She’s perched on the car-hood of a Toyota 4Runner (at least that what she thinks it is, she doesn’t know jack about cars). Jorge and Brenda seem to like this car, for Sonya has always seen them close to it. It is like their house.

“Is everything all right?” she pops the question, because curiosity always gets the best of her. She sees Brenda and Jorge look at each other before taking a gander at her once more. Brenda has a brown bag on her lap, as if she was just checking her stuff, ready to go.

Sonya realizes that’s most likely the case.

“Thomas left, didn’t he?” she catches on, glancing at the two of them. “They’re getting Minho back.” Of course they would. Vince’s reluctance to put everyone else in danger had made up his mind. But of course Thomas and his friends wouldn’t take no as an answer. They would go to hell and back for each other, just like Sonya with her friends.

“Yeah, he did,” Brenda replies, climbing down the car. Her tone is both wary and resigned. There’s also a touch of irritation, however concealed with affection. There’s a faint smile on Brenda’s face. Sonya guesses the girl must care a lot about the boy.

She doesn’t know their history, but she does remember the first time she saw them all. Jorge and Thomas were ready to toss a bomb at them, before Harriet made them stop. Then she and Sonya were overflowed with relief when they laid eyes on Aris, who somehow was well and truly alive, accompanied by Minho, Frypan and Newt. There was this girl, too. Teresa. But Sonya doesn’t want to think about her.

As soon as she saw the group, she knew they’d do everything for each other. And that’s what Thomas, Newt and Frypan did for Minho. And now what Brenda and Jorge are doing for them.

Sonya watches as Brenda doesn’t say another word and opens the passenger car, settling in. She throws a look at Jorge, one eyebrow raised.

“You be careful,” Sonya tells them, communicating all the solace and support she can.

Jorge grins at her, nodding. “Careful is my middle name, hermaña.” Brenda huffs boisterously from inside the car as Jorge opens the driver door. Sonya beams. She likes them, and truly wishes for them to come back safe and sound.

For them all to come back.

******

While in transit to the Safe Haven, the whole Right Arm stumbles upon their leader’s old friend. A man, who just like Mary, was a former member of WICKED before rejoining the Right Arm. 

The man tells them something then. Something that will drastically change Sonya’s life.

She and her friends can get their memories back.

Sonya accepts without hesitation.

******

As she suspected, remembering _hurts_.

It hurts so much she cannot sleep at night.

Not when she now knows.

Not when her brother is out there, alive.

Not when she remembers that he is not immune.

Not when she doesn’t know whether she’ll ever see him again.

It hurts, and all she can do is cry and hope for the best.

Hope that she’ll be reunited with Newt someday.

******

One day, Harriet informs her that Jorge is back.

He’s apparently discussing with Vince in the meeting room, and Sonya wouldn’t normally barge in without being invited, but she’s past that. As soon as she heard of Jorge’s return, she had to see him.

The doors to the room fly wide open as her eyes frantically searches for Jorge. He’s standing around the table, leaning on his elbows. Vince is mirroring his position, and they book look up in surprise, eyebrows frowning when they catch sight of Sonya. She must look like a frantic person, but she couldn’t care less.

She rushes to Jorge, blurting out the words burning on her tongue. “Is Newt okay?”

Jorge’s frown deepens in thought, and Sonya realizes he doesn’t have a clue. He doesn’t know what Newt means to her. But Vince does, and she catches the sympathy on his face.

She doesn’t need that. She needs reassurance.

“Tell me,” she nearly snaps, surprising herself. She isn’t always one to yell, but it’s her brother we’re talking about. She needs to know.

Jorge glances at Vince briefly, before focusing his brown eyes on her. He looks terrible. More worn out than last time, definitely. Sonya ponders what’s happened since then. She can’t even imagine. Did Newt manage to find Minho? Why aren’t they back with Jorge, then? What’s happened?

“Newt is okay, yes,” Jorge promptly answers her. His tone is gentle, slightly puzzled, but he doesn’t ask her anything.

“What’s happened?” she hurries to say, demanding answers. “Why aren’t they with you? What happened?” she knows she is repeating herself.

Jorge exchanges another glance with Vince, and it is starting to annoy Sonya, but it dissipates as soon as Vince nods at the man, and Jorge tells her.

He tells her everything.

If remembering hurt her the first time, it is nothing compared to learning that she may lose Newt now.

The reality crashes down, and if before she hoped for people to find a cure, now she even wants it more.

Newt cannot die. Not before they reunite, like they promised each other before entering the Maze.

Newt cannot die.

He cannot.

******

Sonya spends her days on the shoreline, watching the horizon, keeping an eye out for a boat. Vince left, joined the battle alongside Jorge. Sonya doesn’t know what they’ve been up to since the last time she saw them.

Did they manage to find the group? Did Newt get reunited with his friend Minho? Sonya never talked much to Newt after the Maze (oh, how she wishes it was different), but she still knows what the boy means a lot to her brother. She saw the resolution in his brown’s eyes when he and Thomas decided to go to the last city, despite the danger and risks.

She knows her brother.

She knew him before the Maze, and he was the strongest person ever. He always protected her, and she has no doubt his brother has used his protective side more than once in the maze.

He is still the strongest person she knows, and he’s survived until now.

And he will survive.

He has to.

******

While Sonya waits, she also thinks.

She thinks back to that first time she met Newt again. She hadn’t known back then, that this boy with the blonde hair and caring eyes was her family. She was too happy to see Aris again. She had hugged her friend tightly, not even realizing Newt’s eyes were on her, not even realizing her whole world was besides her.

Their parents were killed by WICKED, and they were taken from their house. They grew up in the WICKED facility, but never saw each other much. Until one time, Newt sneaked into her dorm with Thomas’ help, and they saw each other one last time before the Maze Trial began. She had cherished that moment. They had hugged tight, and she had thought, “One day, we’re gonna be reunited again. One day we’re gonna be okay.”

She still holds on to that thought, to that conviction.

******

When Sonya leans that they are back, so many emotions go through her at the same time. Shock, relief, anticipation, happiness, longing to be reunited with her brother once more.

But then, the slimmest hope she's hold on to for so long, suddenly crumbles.

And she is left with one painful sentiment: sorrow.

******

It’s Minho who comes to see her.

She’s found a secluded place on the beach, away from everyone else. Not even Harriet’s presence or hugs from Aris were sufficient. They knew it, and Sonya appreciated their comforting words and gestures despite everything, but what she needed most was space. They left her to grieve alone.

She doesn’t even hide the tears that haven’t stopped falling when Minho stands a couple of meters from her, obviously not wanting to intrude and not knowing if he is even allowed to join and sit with her. He doesn’t speak, and when Sonya looks up to take a look at one of the most important person in his brother’s life, she can’t contain her sobs any longer.

“Is Thomas okay?” she asks with a broken voice. She doesn’t even care. She just wants to know if Thomas, another important person in his brother's life, is safe. That would at least make one of them.

“He’s still passed out,” Minho answers her faintly. He sounds fragile, and almost guilty. Sonya knows the feeling. She felt it enough times when she watched all her friends die, all these people she couldn’t save. She wonders if Minho feels guilty about Newt. She doesn’t even have the courage to tell him it is not his fault.

Because it is WICKED’s entire fault.

Sonya wishes she could scream, and wreak havoc on all those people who did this to them, to Newt. But she doesn’t even have the force anymore. She only has her tears left, and her memories.

The painful memories.

******

When Thomas wakes up the day after, Sonya watches as the boy halts in his steps and looks at Minho only, his eyes brimming with pain and sorrow. She watches as the two boys hug each other, and Sonya’s heart aches.

She aches for Newt’s presence, whom ought to have been there, with them, safe and sound.

******

Sonya is informed that they brought the body with them. She doesn’t know if she should feel relieved that her big brother wasn’t completely left behind, or more devastated at the news.

But they get to give him a proper burial.

He is not alive, but he is with them, at the Safe Haven, resting in peace.

At least, Sonya hopes he is.

******

Before she starts her day, every day, right before the sun goes fully up in the sky, she stands in front of the huge stone buried in the sand. The memorial of the fallen Gladers, with all the engraved names. Right now, the sun perfectly hits the stone. It reminds Sonya the way the sun used to hit the Glade at that perfect moment. She stares at the stone, at the names of her friends, at Newt’s name, until her eyes burn and she has no tears left.

When she settles into her cot at night, she thinks of her brother and how in another life, an alternate universe maybe, they are luckier.

She holds on to her memories, Newt’s hair, eyes, face, the little smile she once perceived, and falls asleep like that, hoping for a better life with Newt in it.

_ The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living. _

**Author's Note:**

> R.I.P. Newt
> 
> I don’t know why the shuck I wrote this. I just needed to share my pain. If I have to suffer, y’all have to suffer, too.
> 
> I was so destroyed when I learned that Newt and Sonya were siblings, and Newt died without remembering her. (Even though I have this headcanon that when Newt starts losing it and before he dies, he does start remembering.)
> 
> And it’s painful because in the books, Sonya does get back her memories, unlike in the movie. She does remember Newt in the end.
> 
> So… Yeah.
> 
> My babies.
> 
>  
> 
> **Thank you for reading.**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Hope you liked it. Go read my other fics. Of course, it's not an order. Just an advice. Please. Pretty please? :D**
> 
>  
> 
> **Kudos and comments would be much appreciated!**
> 
>  
> 
> **[Click[here](http://archiveofourown.org/users/larrycaring/pseuds/larrycaring/works) to see and read all my other works!]**
> 
>  
> 
> **Twitter:**  
> [@larrycaring](https://twitter.com/larrycaring)  
>  **Tumblr:mystupidamours**


End file.
